God's Grace

Had an epiphany tonight. Makenna and I were reading her Bible and it was talking about God's grace. It said the meaning of grace was that God will always forgive you for what you have done wrong as long as you go to Him and ask for it. It made me step back and take a hard look at my parenting.

Makenna has pillows on her bed that my mom made that have strings on the bottom that tie it together. She for some reason is drawn to these pillows at rest time.  She somehow someway ends up undoing them. I get so frustrated with her about it that she now gets a consequence for undoing them. Now in the light of eternity this truly does not matter. It is the lesson of obeying. I get that, but what I do not get is that my attitude toward it does not show grace. She comes and asks for forgiveness and I remembering that this is a continued occurrence get frustrated with her yet again. Isn't it amazing that our Heavenly father does not get frustrated with us when we go to him for forgiveness again and again. I think about things that I struggle with and that I constantly stumble over trying to obey God. And every time he is so quick to forgive me and then the Bible says he forgets it like it never happened. I sit and think why can't I be like that.  Why? I am human in an imperfect world filled with sin. It is interesting how much you can learn from a children's Bible, not to mention the child you are reading it to. Thank you Makenna for always showing me the grace I do not deserve.

Coming up for air

It has been awhile, again. Things in the Morris house are ever changing so I stay very busy.

Emerson has had a rough time of it. After living in denial for weeks I finally took her to the peds doc and got the conformation that she had "Reflux." Oh how I dreaded hearing the word roll out of the docs mouth. I wanted to get sick but after having two with it before I should have seen the signs. But then again it was probably in denial. Emme did not exhibit the signs as early as Maddax or Makenna so I will thinking we were in the clear. The doc says there is a familial component and since the others had it, as well as Chris when he was a baby, then that was the diagnosis. Poor little thing.

So we got the meds on board now and are finally seeing a change. She had a great day today. Praise God. I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am thankful that each day is one less day with reflux and one day closer to a predictable happy baby.

I kept asking myself, "How does my kids having reflux glorify God?" I guess the only answer I can come up with is that reflux itself does not but how I respond to the situation does. I have to learn that His grace is sufficient enough for me. That can be really hard to do with a screaming baby. Beth Moore talks about Gods grace like the manna from heaven in the desert. It was there anew every morning but the Israelites had to get up and go get it in order to receive it. I cannot just expect God's grace to take over in chaos.  I have to go out and receive it and then trust Him in the mist of the chaos. Trust me I am still a work in progress. There are times that I run out scoop it up and trust and then there are times I just want to stay in my tent and cry, and cry, and cry. I know God sees my tears and he sees Emmes tears and he holds us close especially when we're in the storm. I just hate to see her suffer. God knows how I feel. He watched his only Son suffer so I would not. I am so undeserving and thankful. Only by His grace and His grace alone can I weather this storm.

I sure do love this little girl. 8 weeks and growing strong.

My Little Learner

Three days a week Makenna attends a local pre-school.  She gets up gets ready and walks all the way there.  Just so happens it is in our kitchen.  I have been homeschooling Makenna now for 6 months and I love it.  I am using a cirriculum call "My Fathers World" and she loves it too. We learn a new letter every 5 days and over those 5 days we learn new things about each letter like its sound, how to write it, how to sign it, how it makes words, etc.  There is also a math and science component to each lesson.  One day for the letter L we were studying leaves and she had to go out and get 5 leaves to trace and color. It was raining.  So we pulled out rain boots and an umbrella and out she went.  I think raining made it oh so much more fun for her.

Her least favorite part of school is penmenship so I make her do a little everyday.  She does not like for me to watch over her shoulder so she asks me to go do my hair so she can do it all by herself.  Then she comes running to me to show her hard work.  I am so glad she has a passion to learn.  I never really enjoyed learning. In fact I do not remember studying much till I reached college. So I am trying to make her enjoy our time together.

(I wrote her name)

I have learned alot about myself through teaching her.  Things like I want excellance and that is not the desire I want to want.  I want to show her the character of Christ in all I do and I am pretty sure he was not the best at penmenship.  My patience has been ever stretched at times by her persistance on how to hold the pencil or the distractability that is natural to a 4 year old.  That is when we close up shop for the day and try again the next.  I am teaching a Kindergarden cirr to a pre-schooler so she is going to evolve more slowly that a 5-6 year old. I do not wish to push her to burn out.  God is using this experience to refine me and though at times I may not have a "HAPPY HEART" I am reminded that His grace is sufficient for me.