SOS (HELP!!!)

Okay. Calling out all prayin folk.  I am at the end of my rope.  Maddax has now apparently caught what Makenna still has. He has a runny nose, horse sounding voice, and a rash that I guess is from his Strep leaving town.  I am breaking every Babywise law. Maddax is sleeping with not one, not two, but 3 sleep props. Makenna has been going to sleep in our bed so we can keep her propped up throughout the night to prevent her hour long coughing episodes from the copious amounts of drainage the poor child is battling.  Now I must say she is doing better and we are progressing her back to her bed slowly by going to the couch when Chris and I go to bed. (She says she does not like the color of her walls so she does not want to sleep in there). I know Gary Ezzo is shaking his finger at me as I type this.

On top of all that I am still fighting my nausea with crackers and Ginger Ale. So much for avoiding high fructose corn syrup.  I bought some organic ginger candy today to see if it would alleviate some nausea but the moment I put it in my mouth I nearly vomited on the wall. Once I spit it out I could still taste it.  I think it should be illegal. Add to that the heightened sense of smell I have acquired the past few days and man it ain't good.  The smell of my facial moisturizer is about to put me over the edge as I sit here. 

Oh. I forgot to tell you the added stress from the last week.  One afternoon I went to check the mail after Chris went to work and some thoughtless individual wrote "!**! the Police" on our garage in black permanent marker.  How lovely. Chris was madder than a hornet.  He was out all over town handing out business cards and his PIO phone number to the locals in case they caught wind of any information.  The other officers said he looked like he was politicing for Sheriff.  I know this is when we are to "turn the other cheek" but when you work so hard for things and kids that don't care one lick write on your garage because you wrote them a ticket come along, it sure is hard.  I do not like the taste of humble pie.  I think of what Jesus said,"Forgive them Father for they know not what they do." Can I really say that? Working on it.  The sad this is we live in a nice neighborhood and these kids were brave enough to come in our yard in the middle of the day to do this.  They must not know momma packs heat. LOL.

Needless to say I am sick and tired of my kids and I being sick and tired.  Poor Chris is really being a trooper in all of this. I owe him big when I get to feeling better.  I already promised him a movie night Sunday with some friends.

I think the end of the rope I am hanging onto is the hand of Jesus. And to be real truthful I think it is him holding onto me.

On a side note Maddax had been clingy and carrying around Chris' shirt and my shoes.  I could help but take a picture of him in his daddy's shirt. Look at those poor little eyes and face.

His Grace is Sufficient

I have been on a bit of a roller-coaster these past few weeks.  So I have been far from distracted to blog. Sorry.

I found out I was pregnant  on May 14.  We had not planned on trying until August but I guess Destin got the best of both of us.  Yes Bridget, you were right. I started having right sided pain so the OB wanted to do an ultrasound to make sure it was not ectopic.  None was visualized but wanted to do a follow up ultrasound in one week to recheck everything.  So I went back on May 25.  Repeat ultrasound showed a 5 week and 1 day embryo baby and according to my last period it should have been 6 weeks and one day.  The doc said only 25% of these pregnancies last and wanted to recheck again in one week to see if there was a heartbeat. If not then he wanted to schedule me for a D&C. I told him I had recently quit nursing and that my cycles were not textbook. He offered me a little more hope.  I had been through this before I had Makenna.  I lost a 9 week old pregnancy with a baby that had not survived 5 weeks gestation.  All those old feelings came rushing back and Chris was quick to hold me tight.  I told the doc that we would just have to put it in God's hands and he reassuringly said it always is anyways.

We spent the last week praying that not my will but His will be done.  That God and God alone knew what was best for this little angel and that we trusted whatever decision he made.  Deep down inside I really did not want to travel down that road again.  It was a very painful experience but it allowed me to minister to other girls who had miscarriages after I did. I was able to help them heal though my pain.  So I knew even in my sorrow God was glorified. Romans 8:28 still rings clear, "All things work together for the good of those who are the called according to his purpose."

Yesterday Chris and I went to the appointment with trust in our hearts.  The Ultrasound showed a heartbeat and a baby exactly one week older than last.  Thank you Jesus was all I could say.  Then I told the doc I would jump up and hug him if I had clothes on.  He chuckled.  The only answer is that my ovulation is off due to the nursing and that I am 6 weeks and some change.  That made Chris a little more happy because when I told him I was pregnant and how far along I thought I was he said, "How did that happen?"  With the new tracking via the ultrasound he knew how it happened.

So now we are just praising God for his love and power on top of feeling the common ailments of the first trimester.  I have barely made it off the couch for the past week.  Chris has been playing Mr. Mom but reminds me, "Honey I am not cut out for this." And I think he was secretly glad to go back to work. I am slowly doing better with my 2 new best friends on board. Phenagren and Zofran. Love them!!!!

We have a few added stresses though. Maddax caught strep last week and it has progressed in to diarrhea and a low grade temp.  And if that were not enough Makenna has been sick since Sunday with a cold/allergy ordeal that leaves her coughing and snotting.  I think God is just upping  my patience to prepare me for number three to arrive Jan 23, 2011.

I am so thankful that God will never leave us or forsake us because right now He is my sanity!!!

Through this whole process I kept hearing the words to the song, "His grace is sufficient for me. His strength is made perfect when I am weak. All that I cling to I lay at his feet. His grace is sufficient for me."

A Thought for Tuesday