Emerson has had a rough time of it. After living in denial for weeks I finally took her to the peds doc and got the conformation that she had "Reflux." Oh how I dreaded hearing the word roll out of the docs mouth. I wanted to get sick but after having two with it before I should have seen the signs. But then again it was probably in denial. Emme did not exhibit the signs as early as Maddax or Makenna so I will thinking we were in the clear. The doc says there is a familial component and since the others had it, as well as Chris when he was a baby, then that was the diagnosis. Poor little thing.
So we got the meds on board now and are finally seeing a change. She had a great day today. Praise God. I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am thankful that each day is one less day with reflux and one day closer to a predictable happy baby.
I kept asking myself, "How does my kids having reflux glorify God?" I guess the only answer I can come up with is that reflux itself does not but how I respond to the situation does. I have to learn that His grace is sufficient enough for me. That can be really hard to do with a screaming baby. Beth Moore talks about Gods grace like the manna from heaven in the desert. It was there anew every morning but the Israelites had to get up and go get it in order to receive it. I cannot just expect God's grace to take over in chaos. I have to go out and receive it and then trust Him in the mist of the chaos. Trust me I am still a work in progress. There are times that I run out scoop it up and trust and then there are times I just want to stay in my tent and cry, and cry, and cry. I know God sees my tears and he sees Emmes tears and he holds us close especially when we're in the storm. I just hate to see her suffer. God knows how I feel. He watched his only Son suffer so I would not. I am so undeserving and thankful. Only by His grace and His grace alone can I weather this storm.
