The Freeing Power of SUBMISSION

So here is goes ladies.  I know you will think I have lost my mind, but hear me out and then make a judgement call.

When Chris and I got married 11 years ago if someone told me I would be a submissive wife today I would have laughed so hard I would have wet my pants.  Being submissive was the farthest thing from my mind and I had no desire to even entertain the idea.  Why might you ask?  My mother was the finest example of a submissive wife and I was not going to be her.  I know that sounds backwards considering that I just  said she was the finest example, but I was going to be independent.  I was determined to rely on no man.  Hence the problem.  I was a christian but not completely relying on God, dependently.  There was some insecurity in the unseen.

John 20:29 "...blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

I knew this Bible verse but could not put it into practice.  I thought I new better.  So fast forward to a girl who was not about to rely on any man. I went to college and got my degree with an awesome job.  I wanted to always be able to  take care of myself.  In a sense I was preparing myself for the worst case scenario and not the best case scenario.  Chris gave up his dream of being an officer in the military so I could finish school.  I realize now what a huge sacrifice he made for me to finish school so that I would not have to rely on him or God.  Wow how incredibaly selfish I was, and I could not have been farther from where I am today. 

After the birth of Makenna I began to have a hunger to be a stay at home mother.  Financially we were not at a place we could make that move. Being a mother was exactly what God had intended but somewhere deep inside I was fearful of letting go of my identy and my independence.  I began searching Gods Word and asking him to guide my family in what we should do according His will.  Chris and I prayed for Gods direction.  That was when it all began to change. 

Chris was a member of the Elizabethtown Police Department and was at SWAT school in Oldham County one day.  He came home with a look on his face that I had not seen in awhile.  He said he met some officers from Oldham Co  who said they were hiring.  He went on to say that if he got a job there it would change our financial situation to allow me to stay at home more.  What in the heck?  I was never in a million years going to leave Elizabethtown.  It was my safe haven. My security blanket. That was one thing I told Chris when we got married.  I was NEVER leaving Elizabethtown, EVER.  Well it is amazing how God can rock your world if you tell him never.  See years before that I told God that I could never live with out my mom.  About a month later her and my dad moved to New Mexico.  It was like he said, "What was that about not being able to live without your mom."  I did not find it funny at all but it was a lesson I needed to learn.  It taught me to lean on my husband instead of my mom which I am so thankful for now.  This was another one of those situations.  We prayed again and after some very, very, very long talks between Chris and I we decided to put it into Gods hands.  He tried out for the Oldham County Dept and was the top pick after all the testing (Gods hand at work).  Next step was if it was Gods will we would sell our home. Take into consideration that this was when the housing market was plundging and on top of that we lived out in the county where there was not alot of traffic.  We sold our house in 6 weeks to a family that lived in North Carolina who did not lay eyes on the house till closing day. (Purely Gods hand at work)

I began to hear God loud and clear.  He knew what was best and I was slowly letting him take complete control of my life.  The sell of our house was followed with more changes in our marriage.  We left Elizabethtown, I went to working PRN which gave me the opportunity to spend most of my time with Chris and the kids, and I gave Chris complete control of the checking and saving accounts. 

Now if any of you know Chris you would know that he was never the best at managing money, but I look back now and realize he was never given the chance.  I was always in the way.  He does an awesome job and I am no longer stressed with the bills.  Now I have an allowence and a panic credit card but I have no earthly idea how much is in our checking or savings account and get this, I DO NOT MIND. How liberating.

I decided humbled myself to the Lord and finally submitted to him and Chris.

Eph 5:22,25,28  "Wives submit to your husbands, as to the Lord...Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her.  So husbands ought to love their own wifes as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself."

It hit me like a ton of bricks one day in the shower.  I have alot of quiet time with God in the shower mostly becasue that is the only quiet time I have during my day.  The verse has listed first that wives are to submit then secondly is listed that husbands are to love their wives like Christ loved the church.  In that order.  God was telling me that I would never feel the love from Chris like Christ loved the church till I SUBMITTED.  Makes complete sense now.  I was to independent to let God show me this years before.  To think of how many blessings I have missed in my life because I refused to obey Gods Word.  Well I will be the first to tell you that I do not plan on missing out on anymore blessings.  The thing that I keep going back to was that I had this constant example of a submissive wife thoughout my entire life but I chose to ignore it.  Thank you so much mom for the shinning example you gave and continue to give me.

Now do not think for one moment that if you submit your husband will miraculously change.  More than that it is not your job to try to change him by verbally telling him that he is not loving you like Christ does.  Yeah I have been there too.  In fact, I am still learning.

I Peter 3:1  "Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives."

I felt a burden on my heart to share this with you.  And I am trying to be a shinning example to Makenna and to Maddax by my actions.  Chris is the boss.  He makes the final decisions and I submit to his authority.  I just hope Makenna can implement this as soon as she marries and not miss out on the greatest blessings God has for her. 

Yes this is not the norm.  Society thinks I am wack.  But my heavenly father is so pleased with me and I have never felt so loved from Chris and liberated from satan's hold on my marriage.  In the words of Jesus, "BEHIND ME SATAN" Matt 16:23

Still think I am crazy?

Sunny Days

Thank the Lord for the recent span of warm weather.  Makenna was beginning to get cabin fever.  She is very much an outside kind of girl.  Does not matter what she is doing as long as she is outside.  She likes to wash the cars, put out mulch, plant trees, etc. Those things I would much rather Chris do.

Well since it was so nice I let her go outside and play with Playdough.  I pulled out an old vinyl tablecloth and laid it on the ground to make clean up much easier later. (you guessed it, my sisters idea) Then we unloaded the dough and the toys.  Now remember I am type A and I prefer things to be as neat and orderly as possible, so letting Makenna open more than one Playdough can was a huge step for me.  But I thought what the heck, have fun, and I let her open TWO!

Maddax in the meantime woke up from his afternoon nap.  The aroma of his drawers pants filled the room.  After being changed, much against his will, I let him romp into the living room for some fresh air that he and I both needed after the stinch of his room.

I laid a chair sideways to keep him from going outside but allowed him to watch Makenna play.  He enjoyed watching her and playing with the door. 

Remember when I let Makenna open 2 cans of dough.  Well while I was away tending to the stinky sheep she decide to open a few more.  She looked up at me and said, "Monnie I made you a birthday cake."  I had to swallow the huge lump in my throat and say, "Thank you honey." 

As much as I did not want her to mix all those colors she sure did enjoy herself and it is refining me to be more malliable.  We I threw away the lovely birhtday cake after she went to bed. I for one hate the texture of Playdough and was not about to attemp to seperate all the colors. However, if I had just let her open up one can sure there would have been less mess and a more structured clean up but she played so good by herself outside just making me a birthday cake.

Changing Seasons

Well we decided it was time to address the change in the weather.  Up the steps to the attic that daddy and papaw put in to fetch the giant tote of spring/summer clothes.  Makenna was so excited to see all the clothes she had not worn in almost a year and the new things she had never worn.  Aunt Sherrie and Nana keep this kid clothed throughout the year.  We are very blessed to have the thrift shop in New Mexico and the hand me downs from Callie and Chloe.  So began the task of trying them all on that lasted over an hour.

Makenna was quit excited, at first I might add, to try on all the clothes. 

But one by one she grew weary of the task and began to act extremely goofy.  She would stare at herself in the mirror and do all kinds of funky poses.

Then at last she had had enough and put on a pair of pajamas that she had located in the bottom of the bin.  Whew so glad that is over and that I do not have to do that again for another 6 months.

My Little Learner

Three days a week Makenna attends a local pre-school.  She gets up gets ready and walks all the way there.  Just so happens it is in our kitchen.  I have been homeschooling Makenna now for 6 months and I love it.  I am using a cirriculum call "My Fathers World" and she loves it too. We learn a new letter every 5 days and over those 5 days we learn new things about each letter like its sound, how to write it, how to sign it, how it makes words, etc.  There is also a math and science component to each lesson.  One day for the letter L we were studying leaves and she had to go out and get 5 leaves to trace and color. It was raining.  So we pulled out rain boots and an umbrella and out she went.  I think raining made it oh so much more fun for her.

Her least favorite part of school is penmenship so I make her do a little everyday.  She does not like for me to watch over her shoulder so she asks me to go do my hair so she can do it all by herself.  Then she comes running to me to show her hard work.  I am so glad she has a passion to learn.  I never really enjoyed learning. In fact I do not remember studying much till I reached college. So I am trying to make her enjoy our time together.

(I wrote her name)

I have learned alot about myself through teaching her.  Things like I want excellance and that is not the desire I want to want.  I want to show her the character of Christ in all I do and I am pretty sure he was not the best at penmenship.  My patience has been ever stretched at times by her persistance on how to hold the pencil or the distractability that is natural to a 4 year old.  That is when we close up shop for the day and try again the next.  I am teaching a Kindergarden cirr to a pre-schooler so she is going to evolve more slowly that a 5-6 year old. I do not wish to push her to burn out.  God is using this experience to refine me and though at times I may not have a "HAPPY HEART" I am reminded that His grace is sufficient for me.

ice cream trip

We had been promising Makenna that we would go get ice cream the next day that daddy was off.  In downtown LaGrange they have a mom and pop ice cream shop that screams character especially since it is nestled next to the train tracks.  Makenna has been in love with trains since she was a baby.  I know, strange for a little girl but nonetheless she loves it. 
So Monday daddy took off work and off we went to get ice cream.  Oops! We forgot they were closed for the season and not yet open for spring.  Makenna was heart broken.  We had to come up with a plan B and fast.  Daddy said, "Mommy don't you have a coupon for Graters?"  I did.  I bought an Entertainment book this year for the Flash photo coupons and it has some really great coupons for resturants and stuff.
So off we went to Graters.  All the way to Louisville.  A 3 minute drive turned into 40 minute reound trip to get ice cream.  We decided to eat it there and enjoy the ambience. 

Maddax even got his very own scoop of strawberry.   This was the second time in his entire life to have ice cream.  Everytime we thought he was done and got up to throw the rest away he would wig out at Chris.

Makenna enjoyed Chocolate by her choice and then a little of mommy's and daddy's.

Chris got himself a DOUBLE SCOOP of Blackraspberry  Chip.  This was not on his P90X regimen.  Though both of us have kinda fallen off the P90X wagon.  We must regroup and get back on the wagon.  He looks like he got caught red handed with his hand in the cookie jar.  BUSTED!!!!

The best part of the trip was having us all together.  It is rare that we get to spend alot of time together since Chris works so frequently.  I can tell a difference in Makenna when she speds quality time with the both of us at the same time.  I love our little family.

Mister Mobile

Well my little man continues to amaze me.  He has about conquered, yes it is sad, walking.  I have watched him go from a helpless little infant to Mister Mobile.  He is growing up so fast and I cannot help but want it to slow down.  He has slown down a bit from Makenna.  She walked when she was 9 months old and was everywhere.  Maddax on the other hand does not tend to wonder off too far from me in the house.  Now at Aunt Sherries he loves to explore. 

Tonight in the kitchen he kept chasing around this little red ball. Reminded me of a dog.  He would pick it up, throw it, and then chase it down.  He loved it.

Then when he tried to zing when he should have zagged, down he went.  I wanted to reach out and catch him but I realize it is all apart of learning.  So he fell and then he did what we should all do. He got right back up.

 

I try to teach my kids the same thing in life.  Do not give up.  Phil 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" and that God says"...I will never leave you or forsake you"  Deut 31:8.  I want my kids to know that even when mommy and daddy are not there that their heavenly Father is and he will ALWAYS catch you when you fall.

Gate (Date) Night

I love my husband. For many reasons but the one that stands out the most lately is is his willingness to be an awesome godly father to Maddax and Makenna. My sister and her husband take their kids out on date nights to give them one on one attention and so we decided to borrow this idea. (Note: most of our cool ideas come second hand from my sister or from a book she has lent me. She rocks)

Makenna favorite thing to play or be right now is a princess so we went with that. During regular devotional time at home we make mention of how Makenna is a princess in Gods kingdom and she loves to hear that. Now we have added that she is daddy's princess while she is here on Earth. She often asks if she will one day get rings like monnie has from her prince daddy. We tell her yes when she is older. Chris makes every attempt to tell her daily she is daddy's princess and you can see it in her eyes how much she loves to hear him say that.

We planned a date night for her and daddy to go out and spend some quality time together. She kept calling it a gate night. Like her daddy she tends to mix up words. I find it rather cute and attempt to write them down in a journal I have been keeping for her since I found out I was pregnant. Sorry for the tangent. Back to the story. So Makenna and daddy headed out the door. She was smiling from ear to ear knowing she was going to be out with her prince without the Queen (Me) tagging along. Daddy lets her do more things than monnie would. I guess every once in a while will not hurt. Right?

Chris took her to Mr. Gattis to eat pizza and play games. I for one would rather not eat there. Can you say High Fructose Corn Syrup. Yuck!!! But Makenna loves it. I think more the atmosphere and the games to which she gets tickets to buy treasures (JUNK). She came home later so excited from her date with daddy. I tucked her into bed and she said, "Daddy will always be my girl." She is not really good at using genders appropriately in conversation. She meant, "Daddy will always be my boy."

I am so glad he is developing that realtionship with her. It makes me fall in love with him all over again. And I am so thankful that our heavenly father so wants to have those kind of realtionships with us. We do not have to wait till he is off work for us to have time with him. He is always willing to listen and offer answers. May not always be the answers we want but Thy will be done.