Growing Up

Emme is growing up so fast. It is bittersweet. I love that she smiles and laughs now but I miss the littleness (is that a word). She is nearing 15 pounds at 14 weeks. A chunk. I love all her rolls. All my kiddos have been chunky monkey's and they start to slim down when they get mobile. I thought it would cause them to be slower with all the extra weight but Makenna walked at 9 months. Maddax was over a year but that was because he was mister laid back. Needless to say I know her rolls are temporary so I squeeze them as much as I can. That is one of my moms favorite part about my kiddos. She loves to pinch their rolls. She has not seen Emme since she was 2 weeks old so she will have alot more to pinch when she comes in for Jeffs wedding in June.

We are finally in our groove. Do not get me wrong everyday has its own challenges, if not with Emme then with the other two. But I am learning to just roll with the punches. The best part is that after a little tough love Emme now sleeps from 7pm to 8am with a dream feed at 11pm. Oh sleep how I have missed you. It is wonderful. She goes to sleep sucking her thumb. I love it. She is my first thumb sucker and I am excited to know I do not have to hunt for pacy's in the middle of the night or purchase 9 pacy's so that if one gets lost the back up is close at hand.

God is constantly reminding me how inadequate I am as a mother without his help. Some days I get truly overwhelmed and I can only rely on his strength to get me through. I know tomorrow is a new day and we can start anew. I have learned so much about myself by being a mother. I never mew I was impatient till I had kids. I never knew I was selfish till I had kids.  To name a few. But in noticing my issues I am learning how to manage them and drawing closer to God in the process.

We are loving life despite all this rain we have been having. It is kinda like life. If we did not have a little rain how could we ever truly love the sunshine. Well I am hankering for some sunshine and I plan to soak as much of it up as I can when it finally arrives.

Makenna is the best little helper with Emme.

I am overwhelmed by how blessed I am as a mother. To have these three smiling faces look up to and love me like they do is truly amazing. Now life is not always sunshine and smiles. Yesterday was a smile. A big smile.

Makenna had her first piano recital. We had rehearsed her lines and her music over and over. She was ready. I was a nervous wreck. Not because she might fail but I did not want her to have the fear of failing. Failing is a part of life that we must all be apart of to grow but I did not want her to experience the anxiety associated with the mental possibility of failing. Needless to say I was so anxious that I skipped lunch.

We got to the church early to rehearse the steps, check out the piano, and get comfortable with the microphone. I saw it in her eyes the moment we walked in. She had this blank look on her face and she kept mumbling about trying to find the whole in her dress. I distracted her by taking her to the piano. She played her music to practice but did so without even looking at the music which causes her to mess up. I took her to the mic to practice and she looked at me with those big brown eyes and said, "monnie are you going to come up her with me?" I took  a deep breath. While every inch of my body wanted to say yes, I told her no. She looked down at her feet and said, "Can I go sit in my chair now?" I wanted to cry.

She went and climbed in her chair and waited. Chris went over to talk to her and give her a pep talk that only daddy's can give. He came back and said, "She is ready."

The recital began and she was first. I was glad that she did not have to sit and wait for others to go and anticipate the anxiety of her turn. Ms. Neutz called her name and she got up and went to the mic. She did just as we rehearsed. Then she went to the piano. She played her 2 songs and looked at her music as she played. The went back to the mic said thank you and did her cute curtsy. I was brought to tears. She did beautifully. I have never been so proud to be her mamma. But what happened next impressed me even more. She sat in her chair for the next 2 hours while the other children played, without making a peep or squirming. I could not believe it. I had no idea she was capable of such self control. It was great to see that all the tears and praying of this job called parenting had finally paid off. God is so good.

Now on the other had we have Maddax. My 2 year old with OCD!! This child has become a perfectionist. At first it was cute. Closing drawers behind me. Emptying his trash can. Running the Shark in the kitchen. But then he started at night with his bed. If the blanket gets a wrinkle in it he hollers, "Fiss it." And he has a turtle that lights up stars on the ceiling and if it is not in the right place in his room he chants, "Turtle." There is a pillow in his rocking chair and if it is not sitting the right way in the chair he chants, "Pillow." This can go on for up to a half an hour or more. I was giving in and attempting to fix most things but I figured out I am only making things worse. Worse for me. I love this little boy but he has got to learn how to deal with imperfections. He reminds me alot of his uncle Jeff when we were kids. He turned out okay, I guess. LOL! But boy is that a rough road to travel on for both child and parent. So we are doing are best to fix it once and then let him try to adjust. It is a work in progress.

Now on to Emme. Sweet Emme sleeps in our closet. The house is just to rowdy with Makenna and Maddax to have her sleep anywhere else. We have tried. It works well except when we forget to get our clothes out. She is growing big and today she is 3 months old. Time is going by so fast. She smiles alot and loves to be talked to. She is a good baby except for these weird 45 min naps. Maddax and Makenna did it too so I am hoping she will outgrow it soon. We are still trying to find her neck. It seems to have disappears under one of her chins.

She has gone from butter bean to butter ball and I love every little fat roll she has. She is a joy and I am so glad to have been blessed with her sweet little spirit.

She will not smile when I am behind the camera.