Happy Mother's Day

Mother's day just gets better every year. Now I have three beautiful babies to help me celebrate this day and one wonderful husband. Chris had to work Derby security that morning for some big to do party, so we did not get to see him till after nap times.  Makenna kept telling me daddy was taking me out to eat. I asked her where and she said "Marks Field." Which means "Marks feed store." I was glad. I love, love, love fried pickles. No I am not pregnant again. I found out later that Makenna chose the dining location. She loves their PBand J minus the J. Strange child does not like jelly. We had a good dinner together. The poor family behind us in the booth had two children about 6 and 3 and both of them spilt their water, all their water, while we were there. Chris said, "Man I thought we had it rough going out with 3." It is a little hard to dine out with three small children but we have learned to let the little things roll off our backs and just enjoy our time together. The biggest problem is that Miss Emme is not fond of her car seat, so most meals out include either Chris or I holding her. I do not mind, I know it is only for a season. One day I will wish I was able to hold her during a meal again, so I might as well enjoy it now. Right?

Chris had planned on a trip to Lowe's but that was usurped by my headache, so we came home and just hung out. As I have mentioned before, Emme likes to be talked to but likes it most when it is her daddy.

She will sit and listen or even carry on  a conversation for 10-15 minutes with him. She sure does love her daddy. We all do. He is a great daddy.

Last week we were having cabin fever because of the rain so I went and got out Emme's bathing suit to see if it would fit her. I was hankering for some sun and water activities. It fit but not sure how long. She looks so ready for summer. I hope she enjoys the water as much as her siblings.

After trying on the bathing suit and posing for the camera, Emme and Makenna were playing in the floor. I think Emme wants to do gymnastics. She seems to be practicing her back bend.

It was a great Mother's day. The best part was spending it all together.  I only wish that my mom was here to celebrate it too. Oh well have to do some extra trips to Graters to celebrate all the holidays since her last visit when she comes in to visit next month.

So tired

Well I never officially made it out of my pajamas today. I did change shirts once due to a spit up episode but returned to my original shirt since Emme was in the closet napping. I do not think I stink and Chris is at work so it really does not matter. Right? So much keeps me busy throughout the day that by the time I get a chance to change clothes it is time for bed.  Plus my thyroid has been a little haywire since Emme's birth so I am going from Taz to Sloth as they try to get it regulated again. Lately I have been extra tired. My meds were upped a few days ago and I am looking forward to that extra burst of energy it will bring. Soon I hope.

We have been trying to catch up on school stuff since the new baby rocked our world for a few months. So Makenna has been doing extra grammar and penmanship in the day and tonight we knocked out 4 math lessons. Its not like we have to get them done since by law she does not have to be in school yet but we are trying to get kindergarten done so we can start the first grade curriculum in August. She is so looking forward to it, as am I once I figure it all out. I am so glad for the most part that she loves school. I know she does way more than I did. I try to make it fun for her so that she wants to learn. The math we are doing is Saxon and it uses all kinds of fun toys to learn like tanagrams, linking cubes, and geoboards to name a few. I probably would have liked school more if I had those to learn with.

We finally found Emme's neck today. It did not stay around for long but at least now we know it exists. She is laughing more and loves to be talked to. I am so psyched for my mom to see her and squeeze her. Only 6 more weeks.  The red cast to her hair is becoming more pronounced as it grows out. Chris keeps asking where she gets it. I told him that my brother and an aunt had red in their hair. He is still not buying it.

By the way...I am going to be an aunt again.  My sister is pregnant and due in November. I am so excited for her and that Emme will have a cousin about the same age. I hope I can offer her as much help as she has given me over the past five years.

Growing Up

Emme is growing up so fast. It is bittersweet. I love that she smiles and laughs now but I miss the littleness (is that a word). She is nearing 15 pounds at 14 weeks. A chunk. I love all her rolls. All my kiddos have been chunky monkey's and they start to slim down when they get mobile. I thought it would cause them to be slower with all the extra weight but Makenna walked at 9 months. Maddax was over a year but that was because he was mister laid back. Needless to say I know her rolls are temporary so I squeeze them as much as I can. That is one of my moms favorite part about my kiddos. She loves to pinch their rolls. She has not seen Emme since she was 2 weeks old so she will have alot more to pinch when she comes in for Jeffs wedding in June.

We are finally in our groove. Do not get me wrong everyday has its own challenges, if not with Emme then with the other two. But I am learning to just roll with the punches. The best part is that after a little tough love Emme now sleeps from 7pm to 8am with a dream feed at 11pm. Oh sleep how I have missed you. It is wonderful. She goes to sleep sucking her thumb. I love it. She is my first thumb sucker and I am excited to know I do not have to hunt for pacy's in the middle of the night or purchase 9 pacy's so that if one gets lost the back up is close at hand.

God is constantly reminding me how inadequate I am as a mother without his help. Some days I get truly overwhelmed and I can only rely on his strength to get me through. I know tomorrow is a new day and we can start anew. I have learned so much about myself by being a mother. I never mew I was impatient till I had kids. I never knew I was selfish till I had kids.  To name a few. But in noticing my issues I am learning how to manage them and drawing closer to God in the process.

We are loving life despite all this rain we have been having. It is kinda like life. If we did not have a little rain how could we ever truly love the sunshine. Well I am hankering for some sunshine and I plan to soak as much of it up as I can when it finally arrives.

Makenna is the best little helper with Emme.

I am overwhelmed by how blessed I am as a mother. To have these three smiling faces look up to and love me like they do is truly amazing. Now life is not always sunshine and smiles. Yesterday was a smile. A big smile.

Makenna had her first piano recital. We had rehearsed her lines and her music over and over. She was ready. I was a nervous wreck. Not because she might fail but I did not want her to have the fear of failing. Failing is a part of life that we must all be apart of to grow but I did not want her to experience the anxiety associated with the mental possibility of failing. Needless to say I was so anxious that I skipped lunch.

We got to the church early to rehearse the steps, check out the piano, and get comfortable with the microphone. I saw it in her eyes the moment we walked in. She had this blank look on her face and she kept mumbling about trying to find the whole in her dress. I distracted her by taking her to the piano. She played her music to practice but did so without even looking at the music which causes her to mess up. I took her to the mic to practice and she looked at me with those big brown eyes and said, "monnie are you going to come up her with me?" I took  a deep breath. While every inch of my body wanted to say yes, I told her no. She looked down at her feet and said, "Can I go sit in my chair now?" I wanted to cry.

She went and climbed in her chair and waited. Chris went over to talk to her and give her a pep talk that only daddy's can give. He came back and said, "She is ready."

The recital began and she was first. I was glad that she did not have to sit and wait for others to go and anticipate the anxiety of her turn. Ms. Neutz called her name and she got up and went to the mic. She did just as we rehearsed. Then she went to the piano. She played her 2 songs and looked at her music as she played. The went back to the mic said thank you and did her cute curtsy. I was brought to tears. She did beautifully. I have never been so proud to be her mamma. But what happened next impressed me even more. She sat in her chair for the next 2 hours while the other children played, without making a peep or squirming. I could not believe it. I had no idea she was capable of such self control. It was great to see that all the tears and praying of this job called parenting had finally paid off. God is so good.

Now on the other had we have Maddax. My 2 year old with OCD!! This child has become a perfectionist. At first it was cute. Closing drawers behind me. Emptying his trash can. Running the Shark in the kitchen. But then he started at night with his bed. If the blanket gets a wrinkle in it he hollers, "Fiss it." And he has a turtle that lights up stars on the ceiling and if it is not in the right place in his room he chants, "Turtle." There is a pillow in his rocking chair and if it is not sitting the right way in the chair he chants, "Pillow." This can go on for up to a half an hour or more. I was giving in and attempting to fix most things but I figured out I am only making things worse. Worse for me. I love this little boy but he has got to learn how to deal with imperfections. He reminds me alot of his uncle Jeff when we were kids. He turned out okay, I guess. LOL! But boy is that a rough road to travel on for both child and parent. So we are doing are best to fix it once and then let him try to adjust. It is a work in progress.

Now on to Emme. Sweet Emme sleeps in our closet. The house is just to rowdy with Makenna and Maddax to have her sleep anywhere else. We have tried. It works well except when we forget to get our clothes out. She is growing big and today she is 3 months old. Time is going by so fast. She smiles alot and loves to be talked to. She is a good baby except for these weird 45 min naps. Maddax and Makenna did it too so I am hoping she will outgrow it soon. We are still trying to find her neck. It seems to have disappears under one of her chins.

She has gone from butter bean to butter ball and I love every little fat roll she has. She is a joy and I am so glad to have been blessed with her sweet little spirit.

She will not smile when I am behind the camera.

Coming up for air

It has been awhile, again. Things in the Morris house are ever changing so I stay very busy.

Emerson has had a rough time of it. After living in denial for weeks I finally took her to the peds doc and got the conformation that she had "Reflux." Oh how I dreaded hearing the word roll out of the docs mouth. I wanted to get sick but after having two with it before I should have seen the signs. But then again it was probably in denial. Emme did not exhibit the signs as early as Maddax or Makenna so I will thinking we were in the clear. The doc says there is a familial component and since the others had it, as well as Chris when he was a baby, then that was the diagnosis. Poor little thing.

So we got the meds on board now and are finally seeing a change. She had a great day today. Praise God. I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am thankful that each day is one less day with reflux and one day closer to a predictable happy baby.

I kept asking myself, "How does my kids having reflux glorify God?" I guess the only answer I can come up with is that reflux itself does not but how I respond to the situation does. I have to learn that His grace is sufficient enough for me. That can be really hard to do with a screaming baby. Beth Moore talks about Gods grace like the manna from heaven in the desert. It was there anew every morning but the Israelites had to get up and go get it in order to receive it. I cannot just expect God's grace to take over in chaos.  I have to go out and receive it and then trust Him in the mist of the chaos. Trust me I am still a work in progress. There are times that I run out scoop it up and trust and then there are times I just want to stay in my tent and cry, and cry, and cry. I know God sees my tears and he sees Emmes tears and he holds us close especially when we're in the storm. I just hate to see her suffer. God knows how I feel. He watched his only Son suffer so I would not. I am so undeserving and thankful. Only by His grace and His grace alone can I weather this storm.

I sure do love this little girl. 8 weeks and growing strong.

My Boy Turns Two

I know it is a little late. Maddax turned 2 on Thursday but free time is not like it used to be.

We got him up and started his day with chocolate doughnuts, his favorite. He was so excited.

Then he got two balloons, Elmo and Cars. Both of his favorite shows. And by favorite I mean walks around all the time repeated these characters. Makenna was a little jealous because she did not have balloons but we had to remind her that she got balloons on her birthday and Maddax did not. This is a concept that we had to repeat several times throughout the day.

Chris went out and bought Maddax a cake. I was to tired to make a cake like last year so Dairy Queen saved the day. We got him a Cars cake. He wanted to make sure he got the piece with Sally on it. She is his favorite Cars character.  Makenna on the other hand wanted to eat Mater. He is my favorite too.

The dye on the cake was staining everyone teeth and clothes. Maddax looked like the Joker from Batman if you ask me.  I am sure his poop will be some awkward color thanks to the red dye. I only had a couple of bites of the ice cream only since I am nursing Emme.

Cake was followed up by presents. We got him a Radio Flyer tricycle, second hand thanks to the Ky Kids Consignment Sale in E-town. He also got a Cars helmet to go with his new bike. He screamed "kikickel". Elmo rides a tricycle in one of his books so he knew exactly what it was. He could not wait to ride it. I was glad to have bought one with a parents handle to save my back.

It was a good day.  Outside of the fact that Makenna is learning that she is not an only child and that other children in our family have special days besides her. I know it will be a work in progress.

I am so glad to have been giving the opportunity to be Maddax's mommy. God knew I needed his hugs and kisses throughout the day when daddy is at work.

It has been awhile

I have wanted to blog so bad lately. To update you all our changes but with a new baby and lack of sleep, blogging was last on my list. I am feeling a little more alert lately so I wanted to give you an update on our new joy.

After much begging, I was scheduled to be induced on Jan 18 at 7 am. Chris and I dropped Maddax and Makenna off at Aunt Sherries the night before to stay with Nana the next day while we went to the hospital. We returned home that night to straighten up the house and so I could repack my bag for the 4th and final time. I had contractions all night long but nothing more than I had had before so I just ignored them. The next morning Chris and I met my sister at the hospital.  I was still having contractions but there was so pattern to them so I just continued to ignore them.  I was admitted at 7:15 am and then hooked up to the monitors. I told my nurse, Erin who was amazing, that I was having contractions most of the night and continuing to have them at that present time. She said I may be in early labor. Sure enough I was and my induction turned into no induction at all. I did it on my own.  The contractions started to come more regular and more painful. I had gone natural with Maddax but was really on the fence with this pregnancy.  I was thinking about to asking for some Staydol when my water broke at 10:18 am. I knew I was not going to have time to get any drugs even if I wanted them. My doc was paged in surgery because I changed from 6 to 9 cm in less than 30 min. I told the nurses that I needed to push and they said go right ahead. Just then Dr. Basham walked in the door.  I said, "Thank you Jesus." One push later at 10:53 am Emerson Ansley was born. Wow what a rush. It turned out to be less painful than Maddax and I was so glad I went natural again.

Aunt Sherrie

Super daddy

She was perfect. weighing in at 7lbs and 13.9 oz and 21 1/2 in long. They put her right on my chest. The hospital had started a new program called Kangaroo Care and I was the first patient that my nurse got to implement it with.  They put the baby on your chest right after birth before even weighing. The baby stays there for at least the first hour of life. It is to help with nursing and bonding, as well as keeping the babies temp up better than the heating light. I loved it and was so glad to be able to experience it. 

Emme had a couple of episodes of choking after birth but since she was in the birth canal for 1.2 seconds, she did not have enough time to have all the amniotic fluid expelled from her lungs. After a few days she stopped doing it but boy did it make me nervous.

We came home and all was going well. She was eating every 3 hours and sleeping great. At her peds check up she was 8.1 pounds, up from her discharge weight of 7.6 pounds. Then it was time for Nana to go home. I was sad even before she left. I knew all along at some point she would go home, but time went way too fast. Chris stepped up and took off work for the next week to help me over the hump. I am so lucky to have him for a husband. God has blessed me with not a perfect man but one who is willing to try.

Then Emme started changing her nursing patterns. She started spitting up alot and gagging and choking with nursing. It mimicked alot of Maddax eating pattern but not to the point of reflux. That is when my third angel stepped in. Not only the best labor coach ever but the best sister ever. She had helped me with nursing Maddax and Makenna through reflux, colic, and tongue tied babies. We brain stormed and I researched and found alot of info on overactive let down and over abundance of milk supply. I quickly implemented the techniques and Emme started to improve. I went ahead and made an appt with the lactation nurse at the hospital. She was wonderful. Very compassionate and had even experienced the same problem with her son who weaned himself at 4 months. She did not want that to happen to me so she offered much encouragement and ideas to treat the issue. She also checked to see if Emme was taking in enough milk. She pre weighed her at 9 pounds and 3 ounces and then reweighed her after nursing about 10-15 minutes. This little girl took in 3 1/2  ounces of milk. The nurse said ,"Oh my." I was confused. She said most babies her age take in about 2 ounces and that Emme probably takes in as much as 5 ounces when my let down comes in too fast. Oh my was right. No wonder she was spitting up. She was as full as a tick.

Since then, Emme is much better and eating well. I am not seeing the signs I had with Maddax and Makenna and I praise God for that. He has made me stronger than I ever thought possible and given me people along the way to help me when I felt hopeless; from my mom, sister, husband , and lactaion nurse. I know he was there holding my hand all the way while they held the other hand.

Each day is better and brighter. I am sure there will be days that are rougher than others but I had those before Emme was ever born. God is refining me into the child he wants me to be. I am learning to let the small things go and address the most important, my family. I am so blessed with a beautiful, wonderful family.  I do not want to miss out on the second most important thing God has given me, my family. The first is His Son Jesus.