The Freeing Power of SUBMISSION

So here is goes ladies.  I know you will think I have lost my mind, but hear me out and then make a judgement call.

When Chris and I got married 11 years ago if someone told me I would be a submissive wife today I would have laughed so hard I would have wet my pants.  Being submissive was the farthest thing from my mind and I had no desire to even entertain the idea.  Why might you ask?  My mother was the finest example of a submissive wife and I was not going to be her.  I know that sounds backwards considering that I just  said she was the finest example, but I was going to be independent.  I was determined to rely on no man.  Hence the problem.  I was a christian but not completely relying on God, dependently.  There was some insecurity in the unseen.

John 20:29 "...blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

I knew this Bible verse but could not put it into practice.  I thought I new better.  So fast forward to a girl who was not about to rely on any man. I went to college and got my degree with an awesome job.  I wanted to always be able to  take care of myself.  In a sense I was preparing myself for the worst case scenario and not the best case scenario.  Chris gave up his dream of being an officer in the military so I could finish school.  I realize now what a huge sacrifice he made for me to finish school so that I would not have to rely on him or God.  Wow how incredibaly selfish I was, and I could not have been farther from where I am today. 

After the birth of Makenna I began to have a hunger to be a stay at home mother.  Financially we were not at a place we could make that move. Being a mother was exactly what God had intended but somewhere deep inside I was fearful of letting go of my identy and my independence.  I began searching Gods Word and asking him to guide my family in what we should do according His will.  Chris and I prayed for Gods direction.  That was when it all began to change. 

Chris was a member of the Elizabethtown Police Department and was at SWAT school in Oldham County one day.  He came home with a look on his face that I had not seen in awhile.  He said he met some officers from Oldham Co  who said they were hiring.  He went on to say that if he got a job there it would change our financial situation to allow me to stay at home more.  What in the heck?  I was never in a million years going to leave Elizabethtown.  It was my safe haven. My security blanket. That was one thing I told Chris when we got married.  I was NEVER leaving Elizabethtown, EVER.  Well it is amazing how God can rock your world if you tell him never.  See years before that I told God that I could never live with out my mom.  About a month later her and my dad moved to New Mexico.  It was like he said, "What was that about not being able to live without your mom."  I did not find it funny at all but it was a lesson I needed to learn.  It taught me to lean on my husband instead of my mom which I am so thankful for now.  This was another one of those situations.  We prayed again and after some very, very, very long talks between Chris and I we decided to put it into Gods hands.  He tried out for the Oldham County Dept and was the top pick after all the testing (Gods hand at work).  Next step was if it was Gods will we would sell our home. Take into consideration that this was when the housing market was plundging and on top of that we lived out in the county where there was not alot of traffic.  We sold our house in 6 weeks to a family that lived in North Carolina who did not lay eyes on the house till closing day. (Purely Gods hand at work)

I began to hear God loud and clear.  He knew what was best and I was slowly letting him take complete control of my life.  The sell of our house was followed with more changes in our marriage.  We left Elizabethtown, I went to working PRN which gave me the opportunity to spend most of my time with Chris and the kids, and I gave Chris complete control of the checking and saving accounts. 

Now if any of you know Chris you would know that he was never the best at managing money, but I look back now and realize he was never given the chance.  I was always in the way.  He does an awesome job and I am no longer stressed with the bills.  Now I have an allowence and a panic credit card but I have no earthly idea how much is in our checking or savings account and get this, I DO NOT MIND. How liberating.

I decided humbled myself to the Lord and finally submitted to him and Chris.

Eph 5:22,25,28  "Wives submit to your husbands, as to the Lord...Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her.  So husbands ought to love their own wifes as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself."

It hit me like a ton of bricks one day in the shower.  I have alot of quiet time with God in the shower mostly becasue that is the only quiet time I have during my day.  The verse has listed first that wives are to submit then secondly is listed that husbands are to love their wives like Christ loved the church.  In that order.  God was telling me that I would never feel the love from Chris like Christ loved the church till I SUBMITTED.  Makes complete sense now.  I was to independent to let God show me this years before.  To think of how many blessings I have missed in my life because I refused to obey Gods Word.  Well I will be the first to tell you that I do not plan on missing out on anymore blessings.  The thing that I keep going back to was that I had this constant example of a submissive wife thoughout my entire life but I chose to ignore it.  Thank you so much mom for the shinning example you gave and continue to give me.

Now do not think for one moment that if you submit your husband will miraculously change.  More than that it is not your job to try to change him by verbally telling him that he is not loving you like Christ does.  Yeah I have been there too.  In fact, I am still learning.

I Peter 3:1  "Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives."

I felt a burden on my heart to share this with you.  And I am trying to be a shinning example to Makenna and to Maddax by my actions.  Chris is the boss.  He makes the final decisions and I submit to his authority.  I just hope Makenna can implement this as soon as she marries and not miss out on the greatest blessings God has for her. 

Yes this is not the norm.  Society thinks I am wack.  But my heavenly father is so pleased with me and I have never felt so loved from Chris and liberated from satan's hold on my marriage.  In the words of Jesus, "BEHIND ME SATAN" Matt 16:23

Still think I am crazy?